I'm pretty sure my nursing career is completed now. The past 16 years of doing it our way were not the most lucrative in my 45 years of employment but they were the most rewarding and the most fun. It would be hard, probably impossible, to derive the same degree of satisfaction working in some bureaucratic system or even conforming to some other consulting company with their own way of doing things. Besides...45-plus years is enough.
We conversed a lot last week, as we usually do, Nancy and I. There was a bittersweet realization that this was it; but also much talk about the future and finding something else that ignites a similar passion within us. If you ever read this blog or my posts , you're aware I have a great deal of passion and motivation to spread awareness and understanding about epilepsy. That's not going away. I can get extremely passionate about the mess that our health care system is in and about health insurance companies and Big Pharma. I can get utterly unhinged about the drug schedule status of cannabis. I deplore the injustices occurring daily throughout this land---the disregard for the poor and unfortunate, the disabled, immigrants. I abhor the blatant, unapologetic racism. I am beyond passionate about the insanity of the easy access to guns in this country. I could go on and mention the elephant in the room, but this seems like a good place to stop.
So...there it is. I am passionate about a lot of things and I haven't even mentioned the ones that give me so much joy and pleasure---a well-crafted beer, a fine red wine, a gourmet meal-oh hell- a great burger, horse racing, cooking, family mealtime, reading, writing, planning a getaway, tropical vacations, watching almost any sport but most especially March Madness, my beloved FitTAP class and the great ladies I take it from and with, my girlfriends, my siblings and mom, my soulmate Barry and Meaghan and Michael who I would fight to the death for----that's passion.
So maybe it's not passion at all. Maybe it's purpose. Maybe it's a mindset change. Maybe I just need to breathe in and out as Michael always says. Maybe I just need to seize the day, every day.
Ok. I think I've got this.